Well, after watching several of my STC (Struggling to Conceive) friend's mark their journey's via blogging, I decided to join in. As we start to approach our 2 year mark of STC, I find myself looking back at all we've been through and wish I had documents the trials, emotions and pain we went through, as well as the kind words, hugs and tears we shared with friends and family. So, I thought now was as good as time as any to do so.
Our journey began in October 2007, shortly after our wedding. When we started we just thought I'd go off birth control and we'd see what happened. Well, after a few months of nothing, I started to chart my cycles and symptoms and noticed a problem in the latter part of my cycle. So, in March 2008 I went to a doctor to discuss this. He diagnosed me with a Luteal Phase Defect (LPD) and started me on Clomid. We were so excited because this was SURE just going to make it happen. Uh...no. After four more months of Clomid, we did a few more tests and those were ok as well. We planned for our first IUI ( Inter Uterine Insemination) in October 2008, combining Clomid and injections. That failed as well.
Because of cysts developing from this procedures and the meds, we were on a forced meds break the next month. That put us in December. We decided it best to not do another IUI because of the timing...oh yes, it would have been on Christmas. Not ideal to fit in driving to Richmond to see the doctor in between family times.
Then onto January, we again decided to take a break because we knew we were moving in February and thought it best to move on to a specialist. The doctor I was seeing in Richmond was very nice and helpful, but was simply an OB/GYN. His knowledge was limited and I didn't feel comfortable just to continue trying the same thing over and over.
So, in March 2009, we sought out a RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) in Carmel and discussed our next move. We set up and IUI with injections and progertone for April 2009. This cost us a few thousand dollars out of our pockets because insurance sees inferitliy as a choice and your problem. JERKS!
For once, in a long long time, we both had hope that this would work. We thought everything was just falling into place for us at this time. *sigh* We also discussed NOT taking a test until it had been a long time because we HATE seeing those BFNs (Big Fat Negatives), and one of us is known for throwing them in disgust. Finally, after 20 days after the IUI, we took a test which was all too familiar. ... a BFN. We cried, threw things, hit walls, and was angry at the world. Just stunned and at a loss for hope.
What was really bad timing on our part is that this was Mother's Day weekend and the same day as our adorable nephew's Baby Dedication. Needless to say, we had a difficult time at church with all the babies and their stories. We made it through Eli's part, but I lost it when the next couple started off their story by talking about miscarriages and STC. For some reason, I DON'T feel the hope with these stories that others do. I guess because I don't want to hear about me having more years, or to have a loss, or harder times. Anyway, I looked over at Kevin and he was crying as well. We just had to leave. :( I hated to do that, but thankfully my family understood.
So, here we are. We could not afford to do another IUI so soon after that one and our wonderful family stepped up with some generous offers to assist in paying for it! We were both floored and felt their love and support in this. Even with this help, we still need to save some more money for meds and doc visits, so we decided to wait until August to do another one. However, we are contemplating switching RE's for a few reasons. 1. Cost. There's another RE office that's further away, but most likely a great deal cheaper. 2. I just am not sure we feel like they really care about us as a couple. IDK, we'll see what to do next.
So for June and July, I have some top secret meds from a friend of mine that will help me with my LPD so these cycles will be bearable for me. (Thanks Sam!) And we are both working on getting healthier as well. That's the story!
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